I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
