Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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