Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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