we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
