.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
