Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
