i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
