Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
