Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
