I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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