ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it glows. i had to have it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
