My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
