whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
