yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize