I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
