If i come over, it means nothing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
