i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
