i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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