So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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