The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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