had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
