You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
