the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
