Fine. I'll sleep in my office
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
