she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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