I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
