He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
