who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
