Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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