$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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