or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
