2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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