I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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