I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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