I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
