for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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