here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
