just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
