I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
