Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize