i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize