That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
