I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
