Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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