He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
