I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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