Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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