I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
