one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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