I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
