it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
