we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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