and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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