you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
