honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
