The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
