Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
