You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
