please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
