i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
