How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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